It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
