i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
