the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
