were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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