No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
