I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
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