its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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