it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
You're breaking my sexual little heart
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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