It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
people are starting to question the shark bite story
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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