Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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