I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Randomize
