I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
do herpes really smell.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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