During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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