I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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