i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
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