You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
