Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
