woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
