Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
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