He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
