She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Randomize
