Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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