i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I intend to get homeless drunk
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
