You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
