i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I need to wash the frat house off of me
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
