We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Randomize
