the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
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