she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
