My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
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and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
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