We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
These People Are So Awkward You’ll Get Embarrassed
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
These People Encountered Celebrities in Bizarrely Normal Places
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.