i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.