you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
