My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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