Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
