I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Pooping to opera.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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