I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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