look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
