Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
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