Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Randomize
