You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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