the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
