I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Jerry, you need to find god
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
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