Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
