If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
