Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I will be naked everywhere
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
