Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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