you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Randomize
