So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
