Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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