I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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