Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Randomize
