What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
