I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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