i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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