It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
