There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
