Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!