i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Randomize
