So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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