Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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